Thursday, March 10, 2011

Business opportunity

Tracy told me she did a deep conditioning treatment on her hair and that it really made a difference. I wanted to do it too, and asked her what she bought. She said she didn’t remember the name, but that it was in a brown envelope and it cost about a dollar.

I went to Wal-Mart with the boys and looked for it. I didn’t pay that much attention to the brown envelope that cost $.98 because it was the only brown envelope. I figured it had to be the same thing.

That night, I got into the shower after going to running club (3 miles) to try it out. It was then that I looked at the name on the package: Henna ‘n’ Placenta.

I reread it: Placenta.

It had an asterisk beside it that led me to the bottom to inform me: *animal placenta.

Is that better? I wondered.

But I was IN the shower WITH dry hair WITH the envelope in my hand. It was really hard to open. I tried not to take it as a sign that I shouldn’t use it. I gingerly at first, then vigorously applied it to my hair. If I was placenting my hair, I was going to go all the way. Besides, Tracy said it really worked.

I got out and asked Kris, “Did you see the name on this envelope?”

“Yes! It’s disgusting!” Kris said. “You really used it?”

I texted my sister. “Was it called henna placenta??!!”

She sent back, “No. Dr Miracle’s Deep Conditioning Treatment.”

Darn. Now I was the sole person with placenta in my hair, and even Kris knew it.

The next morning I got up and put it in a ponytail, because I didn’t like the idea of the residue being anywhere near my face. I resolved to shower as soon as the boys got up.

I heard Cole calling me, and Kris and I went in his room at the same time. I hugged Cole and the first words out of his mouth were, “Mom, your hair smells like running club.” Kris and I laughed so hard.

So I guess that’s the tradeoff. My hair looks nice, but smells exactly like sweaty clothes.


What my friends and family said when I told them this:

Julie: Annoying, since you get animal placenta for free. 98 cents down the drain (so to speak).

Suzie: You could have your own perfume called Running Club. I am actually impressed that Wal-Mart openly sells a product with placenta in it. We might as well be in San Francisco, who knew?

Dad: All I can say is that if you only smelled like running club, you did all right.

Mom: Now I think about all those placentas during calving season – there’s a possible market for them! You and Kris could brew something.

Anyone interested? I'll only charge you $.50.


Stacey Hansen said...

Sounds like it ranks right up there with udder cream :)

Rachel said...

Yes but how did your hair look and feel? Glamorous and silky? Have you heard about the Brazilian Blowout - it costs about $250 and your hair is straight and shiny for 6 and/or 12 months! On the downside, the chemicals contain formaldehyde, and women have been having adverse reactions to it. Ugh... what we do for "beauty!" ... just rub some bag balm on your hair next time? Olive oil? ;)