I went to Wal-Mart with the boys and looked for it. I didn’t pay that much attention to the brown envelope that cost $.98 because it was the only brown envelope. I figured it had to be the same thing.
That night, I got into the shower after going to running club (3 miles) to try it out. It was then that I looked at the name on the package: Henna ‘n’ Placenta.
I reread it: Placenta.
It had an asterisk beside it that led me to the bottom to inform me: *animal placenta.
Is that better? I wondered.
But I was IN the shower WITH dry hair WITH the envelope in my hand. It was really hard to open. I tried not to take it as a sign that I shouldn’t use it. I gingerly at first, then vigorously applied it to my hair. If I was placenting my hair, I was going to go all the way. Besides, Tracy said it really worked.
I got out and asked Kris, “Did you see the name on this envelope?”
“Yes! It’s disgusting!” Kris said. “You really used it?”
I texted my sister. “Was it called henna placenta??!!”
She sent back, “No. Dr Miracle’s Deep Conditioning Treatment.”
Darn. Now I was the sole person with placenta in my hair, and even Kris knew it.
The next morning I got up and put it in a ponytail, because I didn’t like the idea of the residue being anywhere near my face. I resolved to shower as soon as the boys got up.
I heard Cole calling me, and Kris and I went in his room at the same time. I hugged Cole and the first words out of his mouth were, “Mom, your hair smells like running club.” Kris and I laughed so hard.
So I guess that’s the tradeoff. My hair looks nice, but smells exactly like sweaty clothes.
What my friends and family said when I told them this:
Julie: Annoying, since you get animal placenta for free. 98 cents down the drain (so to speak).
Suzie: You could have your own perfume called Running Club. I am actually impressed that Wal-Mart openly sells a product with placenta in it. We might as well be in San Francisco, who knew?
Dad: All I can say is that if you only smelled like running club, you did all right.
Mom: Now I think about all those placentas during calving season – there’s a possible market for them! You and Kris could brew something.
Anyone interested? I'll only charge you $.50.