This is how close she was:
I watched her for over an hour, even though my kids lost interest after two seconds. I made Kris come and look at her, because she was taking so long. Kris said that she was a heifer, and it's a long process, and it looked like everything was going well. He had other work to do but said he'd come back later and check on her.
I waited and waited and waited. She kept looking at me as she pushed, and I'd cheer her on. She sometimes got up and acted like she was going to walk away, but then she'd lie down and push some more. There seemed to be zero progress.
I went inside - baby in tow - to quickly go the bathroom. Big mistake. I came outside to see this:
A calf! I totally missed it!
I was mad at everyone - her, me for going inside, even the newborn calf. I tried to console myself by thinking I live on a dairy farm and I'll have years to see calves being born.
However ... like a lot of animals, when cows have calves they go off to give birth alone. She apparently saved the big pushes until I left.
It looks like if I'm going to see more births around here, I'm going to have to help with the pulling. That's probably going to be awhile - when I have fewer kids hanging on me and develop super strength.